How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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