you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
