Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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