so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
