after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
