I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
