last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize