Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I met the friendliest cop last night
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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