My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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