I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Randomize
