I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
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