areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
