She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
