I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
