Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
