I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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