just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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