nutella sex= disaster
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
