I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
