I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
