she was so not down for the gang bang
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
