Don't you send me to vm
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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