So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
