Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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