Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
