So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
