u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
