Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
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