TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
