I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
