I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
