their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
