sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
