I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize