so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
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