He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
