im holly from the hills drunk
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
