so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
