thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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