They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
