i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
