Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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