bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
