Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize