he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
