i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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