You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
