I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
