Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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