Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
