the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
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