There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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