and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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