I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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