i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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