i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
