If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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