it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
