Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
