I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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