i came on her dog
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
