The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
