I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
