it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
