Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
