I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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