i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
