she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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