There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
only if we run a train.
done.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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