oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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