omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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