My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize