I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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