i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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