Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
