i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
