I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
