I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
